A Girl’s Guide to the Geek Galaxy :)

I read in some blog once that it’s not easy being the girlfriend of a geek, I mean not all the time. As long as you are the geek’s project it’s all good, but when he moves on to a new one that’s when it hits you and you know you’re no longer the little pampered angel that you were all this time :S And before the realization sinks deep inside of you and propels you to do something meaningful and constructive to fix the problem at hand, you panic.

First, you drown in the world of denial and fight the life threatening waves. You cannot accept what’s happening, because it’s just not acceptable! You DEMAND love and pampering, you threaten and you withdraw. And then you wait. Nothing happens of course. A geek doesn’t understand emotions that well, especially coming from someone who is obviously suffering from pamper-withdrawal symptoms. It’s like a whirlpool of emotions that threatens to destroy everything in its path and sucks you into unfamiliar territory. So he goes deeper inside his cave and works with 0s and 1s and other such codes that are within his grasp of understanding and can be predicted/controlled using the rules of physics and/or mathematics. Second, you feel like you are at a loss. You don’t know what your next step is. You brainstorm about it and always end up more confused. See, you are still in the denial phase. You cannot accept. And so you remain confused. You do not understand why he is reacting this way. You wonder what has changed. Finally, you try talking to him. But his monosyllabic response deters you. After five consecutive and meaningless “cool” responses, you give up.

However, it eventually dawns on you that you have established a relationship with an entirely different breed whereas your treatment of the relationship is one of mainstream. So the realization occurs to you, that although the geek might show signs of disinterest, he is in fact very much interested in you but he is just not programmed to express that feeling. Because feelings do not fall into any system, geeks do not understand it very well. So then you calm down a bit, but you feel helpless. And finding no immediate solutions, you turn to a world where there are answers to almost every problem in life imaginable, the WWW. You’re glad to discover that you are not alone and that your problem is not unique. You feel more confident when you see that this apparently new breed has been in existence for a long time now and that there are many like you, who came out of their confusion and are now living happily with their geeks. You sign up, join forums, discuss your problems, and the greatest of all realizations occur to you: The best way to get through to your geek is to understand the ways of the geeks, their inner workings, their motivation, their drive, their perception of the world etc.

Once you grasp how a geek perceives everything and how he needs to find a system to understand everything, including feelings, you know what to do. You take your feelings and arrange them into neat piles of data and you process them and finally present it to your geek (by uploading it in your slide share account, open one if you do not have any). I emphasize using graphs and charts and other visual aids to invoke interest. The geek finds familiar ground and this is a language he understands, a system he can figure. And I guarantee you within a few minutes time, he will drop a comment on your blog apologizing for not showering you with much needed love and affection . And once you know how to connect with your geek this way (neatly arranged feelings, slideshare, blogs, graphs and charts), you will always be his main project no matter how many projects and startups he is working on as we speak!!!

Disclaimer: My great insight into the world of geeks has been a blessing to me in the form of a blog called “The Handbook” by this amazing person . I will forever be indebted to him for this.

Work to feed the soul

Well in my first post i talked a little about how sucky my work life is. And how i only manage to whine about it and whine some more. I realized, while whining to a friend the other day (i can’t seem to help it :s), that there are things in my life that follow a distinct pattern. For example, the way i deal with my frustrations.

My dealings of the frustrations and disappointments in my life are only skin-deep. I have set the parameters in such a way that everytime i receive a new mail in my “frustrations inbox” it gets moved automatically to the “junk frustrations” folder even before i get a chance to check them and stays there forever, it seems. And some not-so-fine day i decide to go to that junk mail to empty my frustrations, but i get so overwhelmed at the sheer number of “mails” that i feel suffocated. And i come out of that folder, turn off the monitor, turn off my PC and curl into a comfortable fetal position in my bed and stay there till morning when i have to drag my depressed ass to work (to get yet another dose of depression!)

Well enough is enough, i thought, this morning. And the first two hours at office was spent brainstorming about my work problems. I opened all my “mails” in the “junk frustrations” folder, one by one, and i read each of them and analyzed and brainstormed about all the obstacles and hurdles and minor glitches until i figured out a solution to the eternal suckiness that has been my work, lately. And then i selected all the mails and hit “delete” with all my might.

So with all the problems and their solutions figured out, i went to the only person i trust in my department and laid it out on a table for him like yummy gummy bears, except they weren’t so yummy and stank a bit of depression. Once more i realized that i do respect him for good reason and as expected, he considered my case and gave me hope. He would talk to the boss. And so he did. Later that day, he called me back to say that the boss considered my situation and gave me permission to solve the problem in the way that i had wanted to!

To the man whom i trust and respect so much, i would like to say thank you. Because i might not have thanked you enough at work today. Because you helped me break my pattern and create new, more constructive patterns (i hope). And finally, i thank you for being my mentor and my friend in a place where either of these two are a thing of a rarity.

Here’s hoping i don’t mess it up

Hot Child in the City

When people feel down most of them normally go under cover, I on the other hand, put ON cover, literally, especially those fashionable ones and look all stylish . It never fails to paint my mood a happy sunshine color and i feel precious :p

When life gets me low, i get high on fabric :S all sorts and all colors and all types! And i visit friends and family or just take a walk looking like a runway model haha no that was a definite overstatement! The idea is to have one thing to feel good about myself so i can take my mind off whatever that’s bugging me. Ofcourse it’s a temporary solution because it doesn’t solve the real problem. Otherwise you’d see me in shiny clothes walking down that road almost everyday! Thank god its not that way :S.

Once i can just forget about what’s bugging me (even if only for a little while) i can start to concentrate on possible solutions to my problems. So if you see me all dressed up for no reason then know that life has been treating me like shit lately and i’m working on the magical solution that is just one walk away down the runway

Runway Music!
Hot Child in the City
Joan Jett

Hot Child in the City

My Favourite TV Show!

Television is like an addiction for many of us. It was for me too for a very long time until I got access to the WWW and things were different from then onwards . I lost track of all the TV programs except a few and unsubscribed the TV guide. And finally, I stopped watching altogether unless when I was in a waiting room of the British Council or somewhere else. Discovery Channel made waiting worth the while

So why talk about my favorite TV show when I don’t even watch TV anymore? Well I’m not really off track altogether. Let me explain how.

I was waiting for my boyfriend’s call the other day and when he finally called and we talked for like a few minutes (usually we talk more I swear :s)  and hung up, I realized there was a similarity between my favorite TV program and my boyfriend!! It sounds funny but it’s true. In those days of TV entertainment, I’d wait since morning for that show at night (Mcgyver i think ) and when it finally happened I had one hour of complete bliss and then it would be over . Similarly, in recent times, I find myself waiting for that call (esp on weekends) since morning and then when he finally calls me at night with pocket full of excuses for not calling earlier, I forget that I should be mad at him and give in to meaningless chit chat (mostly). And I love meaningless chit chat! . And then he hangs up (sadness sadness) and I get reminded that I should be mad :S.

But in this world of DVDs and WWW and the whole shebang, instead of waiting around for that TV show all day until it is finally aired on TV, one can easily take the few steps to the nearest DVD store and buy the entire season (if not more) of that show. And that’s exactly what I plan to do from now on! Instead of waiting around for him all day, I’ll just call him everytime and anytime i feel like it, no matter how busy/unavailable he is at the time.

So watch out baby and don’t forget to charge regularly

Quote of the day :)

“Whatever you give a woman, she’s going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So – if you give her any crap , you will receive a ton of shit.”

I got this in an email from a friend and thought i’d put it up for anyone whoz interested..or not! :S

Unsuspecting Blogger!!

So did I forget to mention that I have never been a blogger before and never thought I’d ever be!! But looki looki here I am…blogging! well whatever u call it I’m here because I liked it the last time I was here I learned that to be a “blogger” there are few “must” and “must nots” that I need to follow .The major ones are as follows:

MUST: get a theme…that reflects my personality/mood (the last bit is my own philosophy)

MUST NOT: be lazy and forget to write my next post.

I did both and it feels warm inside :s I’m being sarcastic.

The thing about sarcasm that strikes me odd is that I only get it when people throw it at me.  I never know when I’m being sarcastic until someone rolls eyes or points out blankly that I am in fact oozing with sarcasm. However, when I try to be sarcastic on purpose I find myself at a loss for the right words. But say something to piss me off and I’ll walk all over you with sarcasm. Its scary they say. That’s my defense mechanism I think. I can’t be rude therefore I be sarcastic. People do get the message and no one’s hurt.

I’m glad that even if I don’t normally get it I can give it to someone and save my ass while getting my message across. Its a really helpful tool if you can use it at the right time and place. That reminds…most of my sarcastic remarks are wrongly timed and unfortunately placed. THAT is a major detractor. It takes away the natural charms and fails to serve the purpose :S . However, if my memory doesn’t  fail me as often as it does (to put even a goldfish to shame), I can say with definite certainty that I may cite at least a dozen sarcastic moments that helped me walk out of major “ass is grass” situations

Sarcasm or no sarcasm, I just realized I love blogging so much!! It’s like a Truman show inside my head!

Random Beginnings!!

So here we are at my messy corner! Well it doesn’t look so messy does it? No but don’t worry, pretty soon this page will be quite messed up with all my random thoughts :p.  I’m at work right now. I work in a bank. Don’t ask me why, don’t even ask me how?! It was pretty random like everything else in my life. I do things randomly and I’m very unpredictable…or at least I was! Predictability has improved about me in the last 2 years. That is ever since I got done with my graduation and got into the world of meaningless jobs and meaningless everything. My life has been like a roller coaster ride. I know that expression is all cliched by now but that’s the best way I can describe it really. I mean every time I consider the last 10 years…no 15 years of my life, I go “WOAH” I swear to god. Anyway lets not get into that right away.

So lets see…what is new in my life right now? well I want to scream and say nothing but then I won’t. Because people tell me I have become very negative these days and always focus on the worst aspects of my life. So I’ll just slow down and think about it a little hard before the screaming starts :p

Well what’s new right now is that after a very long time I have decided to think positively about my life. I thought it was crap but it really is working! For example i have been depressed about my work for the last 6 months. All I did was whine about it and whine some more. And  I got stressed out for nothing and that didn’t do wonders for my insomniac self and i “woke up” every morning feeling void of all energy and I looked like a junkie off the roads and my boss wanted me to take  a few days off to “recover” from whatever the hell I’m suffering from (he thought it was viral :s).Then one fine morning when i almost hit the bottom at work and had no friends or (available) boyfriend to talk (read: whine) about it, i got home, put on my walking shoes, and headed straight for the park. i walked till my legs hurt and the whirlpool of thoughts in my head stopped whirling about and I decided, instead of trying to fix the wrongs in my life, i should try to better the rights in my life first. Maybe then I will be strong enough to do all the fixing!

And so I thought about what I was doing right in my life right now! I realized there were a lot of things I was doing right and that was a shocker.

First, i realized i took good care of my mother. The mother who lived in isolation for the last 6 years and is finally back with her kids. So my focus was on my mother. Although, I brought her to stay with me and my brother, i hardly ever gave her time since i was too busy sulking about my sucky work life. I bought flowers for her the next day. White “dolon chapas”…don’t know the English for these flowers but they were amazing. The scent spread all over the house and we laughed about it and we found a place for fresh flowers in our house. THAT was a really nice moment. It made my mother happy and we hugged each other goodnight that day and its become a habit now

Second, I realized I do have a nice life. I mean I’m independent and I have the ability to make the most important person in my life, my mother, happy, and that’s a great feeling. I have great friends and I’m more or less healthy. So i decided to better this particular good aspect of my life. I have decided to improve my lifestyle. I realized I’m not so health conscious and I have a very neglectful attitude towards eating healthy, sleeping healthy and basically doing anything “healthy” :s. And although i whine about my frustrations of being an insomniac, I never really did anything substantial to improve my condition. So last Friday i shopped for trainers and sneakers and I regularly go for a walk/jog after office since then and plan to jog every morning! I already feel a lot healthier than before and its working as a boost to my confidence and I carry something regularly on me nowadays that went missing for a really long time…motivation!!! i feel very motivated to do things  ever since I started this walking regime

Finally, one more right I needed to “better” in my life is to give my friends more time. My friends are like family, in fact better than family. If i have been blessed with something in my life then it has to be my friends. So i called up every one of them. I knew not everyone of us could make time to meet up so I decided to catch up over the phone! and I hope to turn this into a habit and at least keep up with them on the “hello”.

Growing up, friends at school were the ones I spend more time with and the ones who took the initial brunt of my frustrations of life. I realize I lost all touch with my school friends and that is something I intended to undo. So I went on a hunt and found Javeria’s number(my oldest friend to be honest). I knew she lives in Singapore with her husband. I called her  and talked to her to my heart’s content until she reminded me to save some credit for emergency :s.  So then I logged onto Facebook and went crazy with friend finder application! and friends i found: Rukaiya Bari, Farhan Irteza (I remember him as bobby), Faria Hossain, Zeenat Sayyer Alam and a few more. And for the first time since I signed up for Facebook I felt like its really important in my life.

So there, this is what’s new in my life right now. I know its probably not all that much but its a good start and I have been waiting for some sort of “start” no matter good or bad for some time now. So I guess I’m on the right track and in fact think that I’m doing better than my short term expectations and I have a strong feeling I will surprise myself further!!

So wish me luck

and congratulations…for surviving the avalanche of my random thoughts