Judgy Wudgy Was A Bear!

Whenever you write an amusing note on IM or on somebody’s wall on Facebook there is always the chance that the reader might not get your humor and end up thinking that you are being judgmental or pointing a finger at somebody. There is always a lack of context: a tone of voice or a facial expression to fill in the whole picture of a true intention.

I normally try to be myself and write funny notes because that is who i am and that’s what i like doing when im socializing via the various online social utilities available, particularly Facebook. At most, i pray that the people who read my posts, do so with an open mind and a funny bone in them. And it applies to my friends as well. I like to believe that the people i hang out with and call friends and share my humor and my life in general feel the same way as i do. Otherwise, i wouldn’t have hung out them in the first place.  Especially for someone like me who likes to crack a joke and tease friends about funny incidents when we interact with each other. That’s the way it goes, our hangouts.

However, recently i have learned the limitations of social interaction on the web. Apart from the obvious constraints that i mentioned earlier, there is also the fact that every word i say on my friend’s wall, some deliberate and some on a whim, are all documented forever. It remains on the wall for everyone to read, the person intended as well as all the 169 people on that person’s “list of friends”. It remains there until the context in which i had made the original statement cease to be. And then Judgy Wudgy the Bear trudges along and reads my post and makes a judgmental comment on the person who is the proud owner of that wall, who also happen to be one of my closest friends.

So when i got home from a long day at work yesterday and logged on to Facebook to find a big ass private message from that friend asking me to be proper on Facebook, by writing proper sentences on her wall and on the wall of all our mutual friends so no one gets hurt in the process (:s), i couldn’t quite figure out how to react. So i did what i do best and joked about it and asked her to calm down. But she was quite fired up and sent me another big ass message! And i thought, i always wanted a big ass but all i got was big ass messages . KIDDING!! Actually i thought that she was overreacting and was being too concerned about what people thought of her. I have to admit i was a tad pissed. So i decided not to reply.

However later that night, since im not good at sleeping much, i got to thinking. Why am i different in this way. Why don’t i give a rats rear end as to what people might think about me  reading my blogs or the posts on my wall or my comments on other people’s walls? I do not remember myself this way when i was young. I remember living my life for other people’s approval. But what had happened to bring about this change in me?

Confidence, i thought. But that made me wonder where i got this confidence from. Which in turn led me to my job, which took me back to my hostel days searching for a job, and after following the bread crumbs of memories, i came to the conclusion that i am the way i am today because of this one person who loves me so much and was with me when i had neither family to rely on nor friends to run to when i needed to. And the rest of the night i felt blessed. I felt that there was someone watching over me. No make that two.

Sorry couldn’t help but digress. So in the morning i woke up feeling blessed and you know why (see i wasn’t quite digressing). And i realized that i am able to ignore these judgmental bears because i can. Not many people are as lucky as i am. It is hard enough to live in this world where people are constantly judging you every chance they get and if friends open the floodgate for you then its just not worth it. If i can’t keep them away at a safe distance from my friends, the least i can do is keep the floodgate locked!

Does this mean i cannot be myself on Facebook? Ofcourse not, i’ll go around commenting funny on people’s wall just like i used to, but i shall keep an eye on the Judgy Wudgies just so i don’t end up hurting my friends. But in a cafe or while on a rickshaw ride, there will be no stopping me, so you better hope the rickshaw rides tickle the right bones in you .

Now don’t go judging me!

~ by Simin on December 16, 2008.